It’s been a big year around here! As we’re approaching the boys’ first birthday, I’ve been thinking about how we’ve adapted to life with 3 under 3 - shifts we’ve had to make in our routines, our perspectives and our home.

One recurrent theme from this year has been SIMPLIFYING - born out of necessity but then very much an intentional shift. Three littles comes with a LOT of stimulation all day long and requires so incredibly much of my energy, both mental and physical. I could not afford, time-wise or mental health-wise, to also be stressed out by clutter and disorganization in our home, and I’ve really done an overhaul on not just the things we own, but the way I view them.

The goal has never been minimalism. I don’t desire to live with as little as possible. I do desire to only have things in our home that I love and that serve a purpose though, and I’m keenly aware now that every single thing that makes its way into our home 1) is the product of a decision and 2) requires ongoing mental energy. Maintaining it, cleaning it, storing it, inventory - the more you have, the more that effort multiplies.

Mental Prep Work Before Starting to Simplify

Probably important to mention that by nature, I don’t have sentimental attachment to very many things - maybe to a fault. I’ve always been pretty minimal too when it comes to products (makeup/skin/hair etc.) - I know what I like and I stick to it. I don’t have workwear for an office job. And I’ve never been into holiday decorating - outside of our Christmas tree and stockings, our home decor doesn’t change from season to season. These factors alone helped give me a head start on downsizing.

So let me preface all of this with the classic - “you do you.” Let your home reflect your life and the things you love. This is what has worked for us and the methods I’ve personally used to bring more peace, calm, and TIME back to my life in the midst of a very chaotic season. A lot of it probably sounds harsh or extreme, and it is! I had to do some major perspective shifts to get the ball rolling and let go of certain things, literally and figuratively. These were the big ones:

• Certain things serve a purpose for a season. We get to decide when that season is over.

• Not seeing things as what you paid for them. It can be hard to look at something and not see dollar signs, but sometimes you just have to chalk it up to paying for a lesson learned.

• Is it a likely what if? Or an unlikely what if. If keeping something hinges on a what-if, assess the probability. Is the risk really worth the keep?

• Letting go of guilt and feelings of obligation. Once an item enters your home and your possession - you and you alone are in charge of what happens to it.

• Self respect. Say it with me: “I owe myself the respect of not settling.” Things you wear, use, give your energy to… if you look at something and feel hesitation, there’s a reason. And you don’t have to justify that reason to anyone else.

Live Simply by Annie has really insightful, helpful tips (and tough love/hard truths) for working through these things, getting over the hump and letting go of the fear, obligation, and guilt we associate with certain belongings. It’s an ongoing process for me and she’s been a great resource!

Focus Areas for Simplifying Our Home

EXPIRED. Anything expired = gone immediately. Food, medicine, beauty products, cleaning products. The easiest places to start! 

EXTRAS. What are all these extras actually for? What purpose are they serving? 

-Extra towels (not designated guest towels, but extra towels in general). Why? I have one set of favorite towels and a few other sets that sat in the cabinet for 7 years. I held onto them because I thought, “We registered for these. They’re nice. We might use them someday.” Except we really haven’t. I’d always just rather have my favorite set out. If you wash/dry your towels and hang them right back up, what are the extras for? Goes for sheets too.

-Dish towels. Hand towels. Beach towels. Kids’ towels. Washcloths. All. the. towels. Keep the ones you really love. Save a few old ones for big spills and messes. Let go of the rest.

-Tote bags. Travel bags. All the bags. Pare it down. 

-Kitchen stuff. Duplicates, damaged, dingy… get rid of or replace.

-Extra cups. Water bottles. Yetis. Mugs. Koozies. Sippy cups. Kid plates. Toddler utensils. Bibs. Oven mitts. It was out of control, and we reach for the same ones over and over anyway. I edited these things ruthlessly. 

-Extras in the junk drawer. You know.

-Manuals. If you’ve ever had an issue with something, do you really go find the manual? Or do you consult Google or YouTube?

VISUAL CLUTTER

We’re working with about 1600 square feet for 5 people and a big dog, and as a mostly-stay-at-home mom, I spend a LOT of time in this house. In order for it not to feel cramped or for me not to go stir crazy, I’ve learned to appreciate decorating with WAYYY less and reducing the visual clutter on walls, shelves, tabletops, etc. We don’t have a lot of trinkets out or little things displayed - less to look at means less to think about + less to keep clean and right now, that’s where I want to be.

One thing I’ve reminded myself over the years as we’ve lived in and decorated a few homes is that not every wall or surface needs something. Don’t settle and buy something just to fill the space. Wait for something you truly love, or decide that it’s fine without anything at all.

TIP — I think a big contributing factor when there’s a cluttered feeling with decor is the scale. It’s hard to go too big. It’s easy to go too small, and then feel like you need more to visually fill the space - whether that’s on a wall, shelf, or table. Art and framed photos, especially. I’ve trained my brain to think “less, but bigger.”

TOY ROTATION

We started a toy rotation system last fall to keep the living room toy situation manageable since we don’t have a playroom. Three baskets total downstairs - Steele’s toys and books on the stair landing (behind the baby gate so brothers stay out of her stuff) and the boys’ toys by the sofa. The rest of their toys stay out of sight, out of mind in clear storage drawers in their closet upstairs, and I rotate things every couple of weeks. It’s a win all the way around! More focused play, less decision overload, easy clean up. Plus when I rotate different toys and books in, they get excited about them all over again. I try to limit things with lots of pieces to a few at a time downstairs, and we pick up once before nap time, once before bed. It’s worth it to me to spend a few minutes a few times a day to have a more peaceful space, and it makes the end of the day pickup more manageable.

WARDROBE

We’ve all done the closet clean out that feels productive for a while, but then you’re still finding shirts you bought in college and jeans you wore 2 pregnancies ago you just can’t seem to part with. I was determined this time to not just make a dent, but pare things down to the point of almost starting over — focusing on quality over quantity and rebuilding a wardrobe that really feels like ME. 32-year-old me, not 25-year-old me.

If I wasn’t sure about something, I physically tried it on and asked myself Does this make me feel confident? If I was shopping right now, today, would I buy this? If the answer to either was no, it was gone. No exceptions. That didn’t leave me with a whole lot - truly, anything I felt meh about, I got rid of. But what’s in there now are all things I truly love wearing. I can see what pieces I could really use now and take my time finding/investing in those things, and put together new outfits with versatile pieces in the meantime. I’ve also learned to be ok with being a repeater and I’ve embraced the idea of having a “signature style.” I know what I feel best in and what looks best on me — colors and styles — and I don’t feel the need to stray too far from that.

As for jewelry - again, a ruthless edit. If it’s not something I’d pass down to my daughter or something truly timeless and classic that I reach for on a regular basis, time to go. Even if it was expensive. I got rid of probably 90% of my jewelry, packed certain things away to save for Steele, and invested in a couple things I’d had my eye on for a long time that I now wear day in and day out. 

For anything in my closet or dresser, I asked myself - do I feel any hesitation here? Why? Not in style, not MY style, uncomfortable, doesn’t fit quite right, worn out, tarnished, dingy… if any of those are true, I need to have the self respect to not wear something I don’t feel good in anymore. 

The other side of simplifying

Throughout this process, I’ve gotten more and more honest with myself. If I made a mistake and shouldn’t have bought something when I did - live and learn. Move on from it. Doesn’t mean I need to keep it. Loved it then but don’t love it as much now? It served me for a season and it’s ok for that season to be over. Never really loved it? Not worth your mental energy to hang onto, and now you know better. Over time, the simplifying process started to snowball into other areas - digital spaces (culling/deleting emails and iPhone photos daily, digital photo organization + regular backups, social media follow purge, etc.), our paper filing system, our pantry, our drop zone by the door - less, less, less.

For me, the greatest tradeoff is the headspace and mental capacity I have now to focus on more important things. To buy things with intention and patience and to be EXCITED about what’s in our home. To spend way less time picking up and organizing. To be able to breathe deeply and feel happy when I open my closet or walk into the living room every morning.

The size of our house used to stress me out - when we first found out we were expecting twins, I was overwhelmed thinking about the STUFF that would come with 2 more kids and worrying how we were all going to fit. How would our home not feel cramped 24/7? But after a year of taking intentional steps to simplify, I don’t feel like that any more. We have less in this house now than we did before our boys came along. Our home brings me joy. It’s a place I enjoy spending our days and I really don’t want to leave it anytime soon.

One year into some big changes and it feels GOOD. If you’re feeling stuck when it comes to living with less, decorating with less, or simplifying - message me! This is something I’m really passionate about and I’m always happy to chat.