How I Manage + Organize My Digital and iPhone Photos

Consider this a sequel to my post on Living with Less and Prioritizing Simplicity in our Home. This time, we’re talking all things digital photos! After doing a giant organizational overhaul of our home and the things in it over the last couple of years, I still felt like I didn’t have a handle on our personal photos. I’ve always kept my clients’ photos organized, with systems in place for culling, storing, and backing up securely, but I couldn’t say the same for my personal photos. The number of Recents just sitting on my phone was in the thousands, and I know I’m not alone there.

As a photographer, of course I value professional photos. They’re artful, intentional, and they help me to remember certain seasons in a really beautiful light. I like to record things for our family with my big camera, too. But iPhone photos can be just as important - the little day to day moments, the funny videos, the vacation memories. They all hold extreme value.

Just like I prefaced the first blog, let me say again – a lot of this might sound harsh or extreme. It’s taken some perspective shifts and lightbulb moments to change some hard-wired habits and ways of thinking. Just like clothes and belongings, I get the attachment to photos and the anxiety/worry/guilt that comes with trying to pare them down. I get it. Your memories are yours alone and what’s important to you is important to you for a reason. So again, this is what’s currently working for me. If something’s helpful to you, great! If not, keep on keepin on.

The WHY Behind My Digital Photo Overhaul

It’s funny to look back and think about our own childhood photos. My mom was great at keeping photo albums and I loved flipping through them, but those albums held dozens, maybe a hundred. Certainly not thousands upon thousands of photos.

Now, we (80s and 90s babies) are parents to the most photographed generation in history. But what purpose is that actually serving? At what point does the sheer number of photos outweigh the benefit of keeping them all? Snapping photos has become almost a comfort thing for us in some ways. We think I HAVE TO CAPTURE THIS RIGHT NOW OR I’LL REGRET IT, instead of allowing ourselves to be fully present and then letting the moment pass on by. But do we lose some of the meaning, the intention, the value of a memory captured if it’s just floating around in a sea of tens of thousands of other memories captured? It sure becomes harder for memories to stand out and be appreciated…

I think some of us are scarred by the lack of tangible memories and sad that we don’t have more pictures from our own childhood. Which is understandable. But the challenge is this: you don’t have to overcompensate for that when it comes to your kids. I actually kind of appreciate the 90s way of NOT having every single little moment captured and saved. There’s gotta be a happy medium that exists between a lack of childhood memories captured on camera, and way too freaking many.

The number of photos on your phone is only going to increase. If your kids are little and it’s already at 5,000, 10,000, 20,000 - what’s it going to be at when they’re in high school? And beyond that? There is no physical way we can go back through and enjoy and relive 100,000, 500,000, a million photos some day down the road. It’s just not feasible. Even if we just wanted to look through a few at a time, or refer back to a certain memory, or photos from a certain season or event, how is that going to work if our photos aren’t organized? Are we going to just hope our iPhones still function the same and we can scroll back through 15 years’ worth of photos? That is a lot of scrolling.

I look at this as doing my future self and my children a favor. Not burdening them with more than they could ever possibly go through. Keeping only the best of the best. Keeping things manageable, for their sake. There’s a fine line between a lot to appreciate, and just plain overwhelming. Just like I’m not going to burden my kids with storage units worth of physical items to sort through one day, I’m not going to burden them with hundreds of thousands of photos, either.

the hardest part: culling

I’ve tried to make a habit of deleting iPhone photos as I go, culling through them daily or just right after I take a bunch. I also LOVE the strategy of using the search feature in the Photos app to search for the current date (ex. July 25) – it will show you every photo and video you’ve ever taken on July 25th of any year. Look through them, smile at some memories you forgot you captured, quickly decide which few are worth keeping, repeat. Doing a nightly cull is a good starting point for going back through and narrowing down/deleting photos from throughout the years, until you’re more caught up.

What does this look like? Blurry, awkward faces, closed eyes – gone. I don’t need 12 pictures if they all have a very similar pose or facial expression. If there are multiple people in a photo from a given event, one or two of that grouping is plenty. If I’m keeping a photo, there needs to be something distinctive about it. A good example every mom can relate to – taking the monthly pictures of your infant. Did you not take 27 pictures of them with the “4 months” sign? And 85 pictures with the “11 months” sign because they were rolling over or crawling off in half of them? I’d go back through those types of “bursts” of photos and narrow it down to literally just one or two (the horror, I know – but you can do this!). If it’s scenery, same thing. I don’t need 3 pictures of the same sunset or skyline, beautiful as it may be.

Distinctive is the keyword. Distinct poses, scenes, angles, facial expressions, actions being captured. 90s mindset. I try to think about it from a photographer’s perspective – the client only knows and cares about the photos you deliver, not the ones you delete. Your kids one day will not know or care about the okay photos you deleted – they’ll be able to better appreciate the good ones you kept.

It might take months on the front end to get things culled and at a more manageable number, but imagine the weight that’ll lift! Make a goal to have your number cut by a certain percentage by a certain date – a third by Christmas? Half by this time next year? And you’ll get to relive some memories as you go. Culling is the most time-intensive part. Beyond that, getting photos and videos off your phone and into folders every couple of months. once you’re caught up, takes minimal effort and time. 

off the phone, onto the external hard drive

A big influence for me in all of this is Nancy Ray – I listen to her podcast pretty often and have always heard her talk about her Legacy Photo System. She’s a former wedding photographer as well and has created an entire course about managing and organizing your family’s photos – your legacy! In her words, “Your phone is a phone. Not a storage device.” Yes, it has photo storage. Yes, iPhoto and iCloud are on it and that’s all fine. But phones get lost. They break. Do you really want to trust these memories to iCloud alone? Bottom line: when photos and videos are only on your phone, they’re not permanent.

To get them off my phone and stored safely, I use two hard drives: my main external hard drive, and a backup hard drive. I store very little on my actual computer because I don’t want it to get bogged down and run slower, so all of my client photos (and now personal photos too) are on an external hard drive. My backup hard drive’s only function is to create an exact copy of my external hard drive.

So to get photos and videos off my phone, I use Image Capture (comes standard on Macs, just search for it in the search bar). I plug my phone into my computer, open the program and it shows every photo and video on my phone (it’ll actually show an additional file copy if you’ve ever made edits to something). From there, I drag and drop into folders on my external. Each folder name starts with the year, then the month, then the event name. If there are multiple images from a particular event, that gets its own folder. Random one-off photos and videos can go in a seasonal folder, like 2023 Spring, 2023 Summer, etc. Here are some examples:

For something that spans multiple months (like Pregnancy – I wanted to keep all my ultrasound + bump pictures in one folder) I name the folder with whatever month it started.

After culling a tonnnnn of my kids’ baby pictures, I found it was easiest to group what was left, just day-to-day moments that don’t really fall under an event, into six-month increments: 0-6, 6-12, 12-18, 18-24 months. Beyond that, I do (Name) 2 Years Old, (Name) 3 Years Old, etc., for the miscellaneous photos and videos. For random family photos, scenery, a picture from a random date night, things like that, I do seasonal folders for each year - Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter.

Phone Settings

I realized as I started using Image Capture that having Live Photo turned on was creating more work in the long run for me, so I turned it off – controversial, I know. Yes, it’s fun to watch Lives back, but when you import a Live Photo with Image Capture it automatically creates a photo AND video version of the file and that’s just not worth the extra culling effort or file space for me. I tend to use Portrait Mode most of the time anyway.

Also, after realizing my iPhone photos were importing as HEIC files vs. JPEG, I did some research on what’s best. HEIC files retain the same quality at about half the file size of JPEG, and both types can be edited in Lightroom. However, after starting the album creation process and running into compatibility issues with the printing companies and album software, converting HEICs to JPEGs became too much of a hassle, so JPEG it is for me.

Backing up my photos securely

Getting a quality external hard drive is important, but even the sturdiest external drive isn’t made to last forever. From personal experience and hearing from other photographers, it seems like 5-ish years is a normal life expectancy for these things. Which means having your photos backed up in multiple places is IMPORTANT.

My backup hard drive runs with Time Machine to create a copy of what’s on my external, and I keep it in our fire-proof safe when it’s not plugged in. On my phone, I have the Amazon Photos app, which constantly backs up new photos (not videos, but if you have Prime, it’s free to back up unlimited photos, so it’s silly not to take advantage.)

Beyond that, I knew it was worth paying for some sort of reliable cloud storage to protect these memories – as dramatic as it sounds, it’s our family’s legacy at stake. I’ve never liked iCloud, so paying for more storage there wasn’t an option for me. Dropbox is a good alternative and is what Nancy Ray uses - its base plan is $119 a year for 2TB, but I didn’t need quite that much space. I have about 6,000 total photos and videos right now (1200 of those are our wedding photos) for a total of 55GB. Google One (what they now call all your storage across Gmail, Google Drive, Google Photos, etc.) has a 200GB option for $29 a year, which is perfect for me. Honestly, I think Google Photos sucks as much as iCloud and I deleted the app from my phone a while ago. BUT, I love the rest of the Google Suite’s integration enough to make up for it, and I like how Google Drive allows you to copy entire folders over from your computer and it keeps the same hierarchy. So Google Drive is where my photos are currently residing on the cloud!

But what about…

Accessibility? Does it bother you not being able to look at old photos on your phone?

Nope! Not an issue, because I still can! I’ll keep the current calendar year’s worth of photos and videos in my Recents folder on my phone, and if I want to look back at something else, I can easily find it on my Google Drive app. It’s all still there, organized into folders just like on my hard drive, it’s just not taking up storage space on my phone itself.

What about things like screenshots, quotes, recipes, etc.?

I did create a folder for those things within each year, however – screenshots are usually something I need to do something about. So as I’m culling, if it’s important enough to hang onto, I’ll either write it down on paper, copy it into my Notes app, email it to myself and file it within Gmail, or move that to-do item elsewhere.

How do you reconcile all this as a photographer? Don’t photographers advocate for MORE photos?

Obviously I’m a proponent of investing in professional photos for your family on a regular basis. There’s so much value in hiring someone to capture your entire family in an artful, timeless way. That said – it will always and forever be quality over quantity for me. It’s okay to only keep your very favorites from professional photo sessions. We cull your photos before we edit and deliver them to you - you’re allowed to cull even more! It’s our job to give you a gallery of what we feel is artful and beautiful. We’re providing you with options, and our goal for you is to really, truly enjoy your favorites. Maybe it’s the whole gallery! Maybe it’s half of them. Just like you do with your iPhone photos, decide which ones are most meaningful for you and your family’s legacy. Go for the ones that immediately make you feel something. Print them, frame them, put them in an album or family yearbook. It’s okay if you don’t hang onto the rest. 

My Goals from Here on Out

I’m planning to sit down and transfer photos from my phone to my computer once a month or as needed. Now that I’m caught up and culling daily, it’s really not too daunting of a task anymore to stay current.

A couple of years ago, before I even started this whole process, I started adding photos to Family Yearbook folders on my desktop. Like, the best of the best. Probably around 150-200 photos per year. I also created a Shared Album on my phone so my husband and I can both add our favorite iPhone photos that we want included in these yearbooks. At the end of this year, I finally got caught up creating those annual yearbooks for our family using mPix hardcover books. After trying out a few different options, I loved mPix’s customization features the best, but there are tons of great album companies depending on your preferences. Even an old school photo album with 4x6s of your iPhone photos is a great option! No matter what you choose, having your photos printed for your family to look back on and hold in their hands – there’s nothing better.

Something Andrew requested was a yearly family video, too. I finally caught up on 5 years’ worth of annual videos with iMovie and it was actually way easier than I expected! I just drag and drop my favorite video files and it can compile everything, in chronological order, into one continuous file. Nothing fancy, just all our favorite clips from the year combined into one long one, but so fun to look back on!

I also got archival storage boxes for our loose printed photos that aren’t in frames – one for our life pre-kids (dating/engagement/wedding/newlywed years) and one for our family memories.

Final thoughts

Just like with our home and downsizing our belongings, the mental load of managing all of it gets HEAVY. Getting to this point in downsizing our photos feels like a giant weight has been lifted. I feel like I can be much more present, enjoying the moments with my kids rather than having my phone in their face all the time. For the really important things (big life events, milestones, vacations, gatherings) I bring my big camera and leave my phone put away as much as possible, but when I do go to pull up the camera on my phone, I try to ask myself now “Am I taking this to share? Or am I taking it for us, to save?” It’s ok to take things for the purpose of sharing sometimes – we live in a connected world – but if it’s just for me and my family, I’m sure going to be more intentional about taking fewer but better photos. Quality over quantity.

Less, but better. That’s what I’m going for in all aspects of life in this season and it. is. freeing.


Thank you Maddie Ray for some of my very favorite family photos.

Why I Started Doing Silhouettes

I’ve added something new to my business in 2023… silhouettes!

It all started in January one day when something urged me to open and read a newsletter email I usually just skim over. In this email from Katie Lamb, an educational resource for photographers I’ve been subscribed to for a while, was a lesson on how to create silhouettes in Photoshop. I was intrigued by the photos she shared of the finished product of her own children’s silhouettes and thought it would be something fun to work on in the evenings, so I went through the lesson, made my toddlers stand in front of a blank wall to take pictures of their little profiles, and got to work. And I fell in love.

So much so that I messaged Katie and told her thank you for sticking such a GEM in her email newsletter and making such an impact. Working on these silhouettes of my own kids gave me the creative push I didn’t even know I needed to take some risks and try some new things with my business this year – and, bonus, I still get giddy every time I look at them. These will be treasured for decades to come and I knew I couldn’t keep these to myself!

Something about your babies’ precious profiles frozen in time — bittersweet because it’s undeniably them, yet they won’t ever be this little again. Their nose, lips, cowlicks and curls — their disposition and demeanor — the essence of who they are, right here at this moment in time. A silhouette presses pause and helps you take it all in. I’m so thrilled to offer these to anyone, anywhere, who wants a keepsake to remember their babies in this way!

So naturally, I texted my close friends and asked if I could work out the kinks of my silhouette process with their little ones as my testers. These all started with iPhone pictures. I took a few weeks to really get my process down but I’ve made it super easy for you to order from anywhere! I’ll also be offering these as session add-ons, but they do not have to be done in person.

Why the concrete background instead of plain black? I chose this look for my signature silhouette style for a few reasons:

  • it’s still timeless and eye-catching without the harshness of black

  • it looks incredible on the textured fine art torchon paper these are printed on

  • mostly I just think it looks freaking cool.

These concrete background silhouettes are so special to me and it makes me ecstatic to be able to share them with you and your families, too. Head over to my Silhouettes page to learn more or to get the process started!

Our Favorite Baby and Toddler Board Books

For as minimal-ish as I am about things in our home, kids’ books are one thing I think you can never have too many of - I’m always fine with adding more! That said, I’m not afraid to pass along books we end up not reaching for as often. We have our tried and true favorites that we reach for again and again and that’s what mostly stays in our baskets and on our shelves.

For Christmas this year, as a way to help curb the influx of STUFF that inevitably accompanies the holiday, I’m sticking to the “Want Wear Need Read” idea for gifts within our immediate family. Something you want, something you’ll wear, something you need, and something to read. So I’m on the hunt for a few new books to add to our collection - board books, preferably, for obvious reasons (#toddlers) - and thought I’d share which ones we’ve loved in case you’re looking, too.

To keep this shorter, I left out the classics that most of us have on our bookshelves already - the ones we all know and love. The books below are some I’d never heard of before we entered the baby years. These win our vote for best board books for babies and toddlers. Are there any we missed? Let me know in the comments!

Animal Board Books for Babies

Some of our very favorite bedtime stories right here. The three on the top shelf are just beautiful - the words, the illustrations, everything. The ones on the bottom shelf are sweet and silly and always get some giggles. We love the lessons in Llama Llama, too!

Our Favorite Baby and Toddler Book Series

Our babies go wild for the “You’re My Little” books - I think we have 4 or 5 more of them not pictured and we’ve read them constantly since Steele was tiny. They’re precious! Short and sweet. We’ve loved collecting them as new ones and holiday editions come out.

The Little Blue Truck books are so well done. The way the words flow, the illustrations, the life lessons toddlers can understand, the humor – they’re wonderful!

Construction and Farm Board Books

It wouldn’t be a baby boy bookshelf without some construction books, and these three are my top faves. All of them are rhyming and are so fun to read - Busy Builders introducing days of the week is a bonus! For our top farm books, Goodnight Tractor is imaginative and adorable, and we love lifting the flaps to say goodnight to alllllll the farm animals in Night Night Farm.

Christmas Books for Babies and Toddlers

Of all the Christmas books we have for the kids, I’d say these three have been read the most. The top two are pretty simple, nothing deep, but super cute. God Gave Us Christmas explains the meaning of the holiday so well in a captivating way for toddlers. We have several in the God Gave Us series - one about Easter, one about new siblings (God Gave Us Two) – they’re longer reads but so beautifully done.

Baby Books About Family

Thank You God for Mommy and Daddy are fun reads but I also appreciate how they have subtle nods to the ways God designed moms and dads differently - nurturing, caretaking, protecting, providing, etc. The ABCs of Kindness is one of Steele’s favorites and a great way to introduce concepts like inclusion and forgiveness. And A Twin Is to Hug is a MUST for any twin moms out there. The sweetest book about the uniqueness and the bond twins share and it makes me smile every time!

Christian Board Books for Babies and Toddlers

I absolutely LOVE the Little Hearts book series. They’re so fun to read together but also a great way to introduce overarching Bible themes along with colors, numbers, letters and animals. Can’t recommend these enough!

Sweeter Than the Sweetest Honey helps toddlers understand what the Bible is and why we read it – the truths in this one are spot on and presented so well. The first time I read When I Pray for You to Steele, I had giant tears flowing down my cheeks by the end of it, and it still gets me choked up every time. SO, so good.

Best Books to Give as a Baby Shower Gift

If I were headed to a baby shower soon, I would order a copy of both of these to give to a new mama. Of all the ones on our shelves, these stand out to me as ones worthy of gifting. They’re not super well known, so you don’t run the risk of duplicates, and my gosh, they are just the most beautifully written books that parents, babies and toddlers alike will all enjoy.

When I helped host a friend’s shower this spring, we had a copy of I Promise You out on a table with a sharpie for people to leave notes in and sign – it has quite a bit of white space on each page so it’s perfect for that! Having a book for attendees to sign at baby showers and first birthday parties is one of my favorite hosting tips. My baby shower hostesses did it for me and still to this day I love reading it to the kids and seeing what each person wrote. Such a special way to do a guest book that doubles as a keepsake.

Hope this list helps you find some new reads the whole family will love!

Brunch with the Brother Bears | Brown Bear Themed First Birthday Party

We’ve called Hayes and Shep our “brother bears” from the very beginning and since Brown Bear, Brown Bear is one of our favorite books to read, I knew from the time they were tiny I wanted a bear-themed first birthday party with the Eric Carle bear. A big brunch for our sweet twin boys, with friends and family who came from all over to celebrate with us made for a pretty unbeatable morning!

Here’s a roundup of what we served for our Brown Bear Brunch - scroll for details and recipes below.

FOOD
Waffle + pancake bar with toppings
Chicken + waffles with Chick Fil A nuggets
Fruit salad
Sausage balls
Teddy trail mix
Custom cookies
Birthday cake + smash cakes

DRINKS
Beary Sweet Lemonade in honey bear cups for the kids
Mama Bear Mimosas + juice bar
Bear’s Bubbly - apple cinnamon champagne cocktail
Honey Bear - bourbon citrus sage cocktail

SHOP THIS POST HERE:

Brown Bear Birthday Party Ideas

I wanted a fun drink for the kids served in honey bear cups and found a few recipes for honey-sweetened strawberry lemonade that I combined into this one. I’d never made simple syrup before but it really was simple! You can make it a few hours ahead of time or the day before and let it chill in the fridge.

Beary Sweet Lemonade - makes 16 honey bear cups
3/4 cup water
3/4 cup honey
1 tablespoon brown sugar
4-5 sliced strawberries
Simply Lemonade

Bring the water, honey, sugar and strawberries to a boil, turn down and let simmer for a few minutes until berries soften, then strain the berries and let the syrup cool in a mason jar. The morning of the party I poured the syrup into all the honey bears (just eyeballed it), filled up the rest of the cups with Simply Lemonade and popped in a kraft paper straw. So yummy and they were a big hit with the kids!

Having a book for guests to sign is a cute way to incorporate a keepsake at baby showers or birthday parties. It’s so fun to read back with your kiddos later and remember who came to celebrate!

I wanted a welcome poster to carry the theme through the main table area. Office Depot will print posters (1-2 day turnaround if you pick up in store) for about $15, depending on size. I had all of our food labels, banner letters and signage printed on cardstock at Office Depot too and picked them up with the poster. So handy!

Morgan of Cowtown Cookie Co. in Fort Worth made the cookies for Steele’s first birthday and I knew I wanted her cookies for the boys’ first birthday, too. I told her the theme and the font I’d used on the invites and she went to work. She is just so talented!

Teddy Trail Mix Recipe

-Pretzel snaps
-Honeycomb cereal
-Teddy Grahams
-Mini marshmallows
-Butterscotch chips
Combine in amounts to your liking and mix well.

The waffle + pancake bar was such a fun way to serve brunch to a house full of people. We had about 35 guests, and I was worried about getting enough waffles toasted in time/keeping them warm, but we borrowed a second toaster from a friend, toasted 4 at a time that morning and kept them warm in the oven until right before serving time. For the pancakes, we just did oven-bake mini pancakes. We had 2 boxes of 24 buttermilk waffles + 1 big box of mini pancakes and had more than enough to go around. It all turned out great!

Waffle Bar Topping Ideas

  • chopped fruit (bananas, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries)

  • cinnamon

  • peanut butter

  • chocolate syrup

  • caramel syrup

  • regular syrup + butter

  • Nutella

  • Reddi Whip

  • ricotta or whipped cream cheese

  • mini chocolate chips

  • butterscotch chips

  • mini marshmallows

  • sprinkles

  • bacon crumbles

We also had a big fruit salad and sausage balls, along with “chicken and waffles” - mini waffles and Chick Fil A nuggets on a toothpick - these were gone in about 5 minutes! I probably should’ve gotten the medium size nugget tray instead of small (120 vs 64), and you could really do 1 mini waffle per nugget instead of 2. Lots of guests put nuggets on their big waffles too, so you could even forego the mini waffles and just have the nuggets as a topping option for your waffle bar.

When I was searching for bear-themed beverages, I came across this bourbon drink called the Honey Bear - it’s sweetened with oranges and a honey/sage leaf simple syrup. I tweaked/simplified a few different recipes to come up with our own version and it was DIVINE.

Honey Bear Citrus Sage Simple Syrup

makes enough for 16-20 servings
-1 cup water
-1 cup honey
-1 tablespoon brown sugar
-half an orange, squeezed
-10-12 sage leaves

Combine all ingredients, bring to a boil, turn down and let simmer for a few minutes until honey and sugar are dissolved. Strain and store liquid in a mason jar to cool.

These you can’t really make ahead of time, so I put the syrup in a honey bear cup, wrote the recipe out on a card and let people make their own.

Honey Bear Bourbon Cocktail Recipe

2 oz bourbon over ice
1 oz simple syrup
Stir well, add orange peel and sage leaf for garnish.

Bear’s Bubbly has been a favorite of ours since we had it at our friends’ wedding - it was their signature cocktail named after their dog, Bear, and lemme tell you, you’re gonna want to be drinking this all fall and winter long. The amounts/ratios of the recipe are really up to you (we made a big batch in a pitcher for the party), but it’s pretty hard to mess up - any way you do it, it’s freaking delicious.

Bear’s Bubbly recipe | Champagne-Fireball-Cider Cocktail for fall

-large bottle of Fireball
-bottle of champagne
-jug of apple cider
Mix all in equal parts - add more cider if it’s too strong. Garnish with a rosemary sprig.

I wanted plenty of drink options, so we also had a “Mama Bear Mimosa” bar with Simply Strawberry, Simply Blueberry, Simply Peach, champagne and mint leaves for everyone to make their own mimosas or to just grab some juice!

My sweet Hayes and Shep digging into their smash cakes - they were obsessed! I went the easy route for these and bought ready-made cake slices for $2.98 from the cold section of the store bakery. Cut into a circle shape, cover with more white icing and voila!

The banner and the high chair garlands were both DIYs using this TISSUE PAPER TASSEL TUTORIAL which could not have been easier. You only need one sheet of tissue paper to make each tassel, so 3-4 colors, 1 pack each, was more than enough for this banner and the 2 high chair garlands.

We feasted and cheers’d and celebrated a huge milestone with our baby boys and my heart was so happy all day long. Happy first birthday, sweet brother bears!

Living with Less and Prioritizing Simplicity in Our Home

It’s been a big year around here! As we’re approaching the boys’ first birthday, I’ve been thinking about how we’ve adapted to life with 3 under 3 - shifts we’ve had to make in our routines, our perspectives and our home.

One recurrent theme from this year has been SIMPLIFYING - born out of necessity but then very much an intentional shift. Three littles comes with a LOT of stimulation all day long and requires so incredibly much of my energy, both mental and physical. I could not afford, time-wise or mental health-wise, to also be stressed out by clutter and disorganization in our home, and I’ve really done an overhaul on not just the things we own, but the way I view them.

The goal has never been minimalism. I don’t desire to live with as little as possible. I do desire to only have things in our home that I love and that serve a purpose though, and I’m keenly aware now that every single thing that makes its way into our home 1) is the product of a decision and 2) requires ongoing mental energy. Maintaining it, cleaning it, storing it, inventory - the more you have, the more that effort multiplies.

Mental Prep Work Before Starting to Simplify

Probably important to mention that by nature, I don’t have sentimental attachment to very many things - maybe to a fault. I’ve always been pretty minimal too when it comes to products (makeup/skin/hair etc.) - I know what I like and I stick to it. I don’t have workwear for an office job. And I’ve never been into holiday decorating - outside of our Christmas tree and stockings, our home decor doesn’t change from season to season. These factors alone helped give me a head start on downsizing.

So let me preface all of this with the classic - “you do you.” Let your home reflect your life and the things you love. This is what has worked for us and the methods I’ve personally used to bring more peace, calm, and TIME back to my life in the midst of a very chaotic season. A lot of it probably sounds harsh or extreme, and it is! I had to do some major perspective shifts to get the ball rolling and let go of certain things, literally and figuratively. These were the big ones:

  • Certain things serve a purpose for a season. We get to decide when that season is over.

  • Not seeing things as what you paid for them. It can be hard to look at something and not see dollar signs, but sometimes you just have to chalk it up to paying for a lesson learned.

  • Is it a likely what if? Or an unlikely what if. If keeping something hinges on a what-if, assess the probability. Is the risk really worth the keep?

  • Letting go of guilt and feelings of obligation. Once an item enters your home and your possession - you and you alone are in charge of what happens to it.

  • Self respect. Say it with me: “I owe myself the respect of not settling.” Things you wear, use, give your energy to… if you look at something and feel hesitation, there’s a reason. And you don’t have to justify that reason to anyone else.

Live Simply by Annie has really insightful, helpful tips (and tough love/hard truths) for working through these things, getting over the hump and letting go of the fear, obligation, and guilt we associate with certain belongings. It’s an ongoing process for me and she’s been a great resource!

Focus Areas for Simplifying Our Home

EXPIRED. Anything expired = gone immediately. Food, medicine, beauty products, cleaning products. The easiest places to start! 

EXTRAS. What are all these extras actually for? What purpose are they serving? 

-Extra towels (not designated guest towels, but extra towels in general). Why? I have one set of favorite towels and a few other sets that sat in the cabinet for 7 years. I held onto them because I thought, “We registered for these. They’re nice. We might use them someday.” Except we really haven’t. I’d always just rather have my favorite set out. If you wash/dry your towels and hang them right back up, what are the extras for? Goes for sheets too.

Everyday use. Fancy. Guest. Fancy Guest. Uhhh - eleven?!

-Dish towels. Hand towels. Beach towels. Kids’ towels. Washcloths. All. the. towels. Keep the ones you really love. Save a few old ones for big spills and messes. Let go of the rest.

-Tote bags. Travel bags. All the bags. Pare it down. 

-Kitchen stuff. Duplicates, damaged, dingy… get rid of or replace.

-Extra cups. Water bottles. Yetis. Mugs. Koozies. Sippy cups. Kid plates. Toddler utensils. Bibs. Oven mitts. It was out of control, and we reach for the same ones over and over anyway. I edited these things ruthlessly. 

-Extras in the junk drawer. You know.

-Manuals. If you’ve ever had an issue with something, do you really go find the manual? Or do you consult Google or YouTube?

VISUAL CLUTTER

We’re working with about 1600 square feet for 5 people and a big dog, and as a mostly-stay-at-home mom, I spend a LOT of time in this house. In order for it not to feel cramped or for me not to go stir crazy, I’ve learned to appreciate decorating with WAYYY less and reducing the visual clutter on walls, shelves, tabletops, etc. We don’t have a lot of trinkets out or little things displayed - less to look at means less to think about + less to keep clean and right now, that’s where I want to be.

One thing I’ve reminded myself over the years as we’ve lived in and decorated a few homes is that not every wall or surface needs something. Don’t settle and buy something just to fill the space. Wait for something you truly love, or decide that it’s fine without anything at all.

TIP — I think a big contributing factor when there’s a cluttered feeling with decor is the scale. It’s hard to go too big. It’s easy to go too small, and then feel like you need more to visually fill the space - whether that’s on a wall, shelf, or table. Art and framed photos, especially. I’ve trained my brain to think “less, but bigger.”

TOY ROTATION

We started a toy rotation system last fall to keep the living room toy situation manageable since we don’t have a playroom. Three baskets total downstairs - Steele’s toys and books on the stair landing (behind the baby gate so brothers stay out of her stuff) and the boys’ toys by the sofa. The rest of their toys stay out of sight, out of mind in clear storage drawers in their closet upstairs, and I rotate things every couple of weeks. It’s a win all the way around! More focused play, less decision overload, easy clean up. Plus when I rotate different toys and books in, they get excited about them all over again. I try to limit things with lots of pieces to a few at a time downstairs, and we pick up once before nap time, once before bed. It’s worth it to me to spend a few minutes a few times a day to have a more peaceful space, and it makes the end of the day pickup more manageable.

WARDROBE

We’ve all done the closet clean out that feels productive for a while, but then you’re still finding shirts you bought in college and jeans you wore 2 pregnancies ago you just can’t seem to part with. I was determined this time to not just make a dent, but pare things down to the point of almost starting over — focusing on quality over quantity and rebuilding a wardrobe that really feels like ME. 32-year-old me, not 25-year-old me.

If I wasn’t sure about something, I physically tried it on and asked myself Does this make me feel confident? If I was shopping right now, today, would I buy this? If the answer to either was no, it was gone. No exceptions. That didn’t leave me with a whole lot - truly, anything I felt meh about, I got rid of. But what’s in there now are all things I truly love wearing. I can see what pieces I could really use now and take my time finding/investing in those things, and put together new outfits with versatile pieces in the meantime. I’ve also learned to be ok with being a repeater and I’ve embraced the idea of having a “signature style.” I know what I feel best in and what looks best on me — colors and styles — and I don’t feel the need to stray too far from that.

The extent of my hanging clothes on a 5 foot raCk. Jeans below and A 24-pair shoe organizer With room to spare, a 4-drawer Bin for swimsuits, hats, shorts, and workout clothes — socks, underwear, pajamas and t-shirts are in our shared dresser.

The extent of my jewelry, aside from my wedding rings, Aggie ring and the dainty gold jewelry I Wear every day.

As for jewelry - again, a ruthless edit. If it’s not something I’d pass down to my daughter or something truly timeless and classic that I reach for on a regular basis, time to go. Even if it was expensive. I got rid of probably 90% of my jewelry, packed certain things away to save for Steele, and invested in a couple things I’d had my eye on for a long time that I now wear day in and day out. 

For anything in my closet or dresser, I asked myself - do I feel any hesitation here? Why? Not in style, not MY style, uncomfortable, doesn’t fit quite right, worn out, tarnished, dingy… if any of those are true, I need to have the self respect to not wear something I don’t feel good in anymore. 

The other side of simplifying

Throughout this process, I’ve gotten more and more honest with myself. If I made a mistake and shouldn’t have bought something when I did - live and learn. Move on from it. Doesn’t mean I need to keep it. Loved it then but don’t love it as much now? It served me for a season and it’s ok for that season to be over. Never really loved it? Not worth your mental energy to hang onto, and now you know better. Over time, the simplifying process started to snowball into other areas - digital spaces (culling/deleting emails and iPhone photos daily, digital photo organization + regular backups, social media follow purge, etc.), our paper filing system, our pantry, our drop zone by the door - less, less, less.

For me, the greatest tradeoff is the headspace and mental capacity I have now to focus on more important things. To buy things with intention and patience and to be EXCITED about what’s in our home. To spend way less time picking up and organizing. To be able to breathe deeply and feel happy when I open my closet or walk into the living room every morning.

The size of our house used to stress me out - when we first found out we were expecting twins, I was overwhelmed thinking about the STUFF that would come with 2 more kids and worrying how we were all going to fit. How would our home not feel cramped 24/7? But after a year of taking intentional steps to simplify, I don’t feel like that any more. We have less in this house now than we did before our boys came along. Our home brings me joy. It’s a place I enjoy spending our days and I really don’t want to leave it anytime soon.

One year into some big changes and it feels GOOD. If you’re feeling stuck when it comes to living with less, decorating with less, or simplifying - message me! This is something I’m really passionate about and I’m always happy to chat.