Living with Less and Prioritizing Simplicity in Our Home

It’s been a big year around here! As we’re approaching the boys’ first birthday, I’ve been thinking about how we’ve adapted to life with 3 under 3 - shifts we’ve had to make in our routines, our perspectives and our home.

One recurrent theme from this year has been SIMPLIFYING - born out of necessity but then very much an intentional shift. Three littles comes with a LOT of stimulation all day long and requires so incredibly much of my energy, both mental and physical. I could not afford, time-wise or mental health-wise, to also be stressed out by clutter and disorganization in our home, and I’ve really done an overhaul on not just the things we own, but the way I view them.

The goal has never been minimalism. I don’t desire to live with as little as possible. I do desire to only have things in our home that I love and that serve a purpose though, and I’m keenly aware now that every single thing that makes its way into our home 1) is the product of a decision and 2) requires ongoing mental energy. Maintaining it, cleaning it, storing it, inventory - the more you have, the more that effort multiplies.

Mental Prep Work Before Starting to Simplify

Probably important to mention that by nature, I don’t have sentimental attachment to very many things - maybe to a fault. I’ve always been pretty minimal too when it comes to products (makeup/skin/hair etc.) - I know what I like and I stick to it. I don’t have workwear for an office job. And I’ve never been into holiday decorating - outside of our Christmas tree and stockings, our home decor doesn’t change from season to season. These factors alone helped give me a head start on downsizing.

So let me preface all of this with the classic - “you do you.” Let your home reflect your life and the things you love. This is what has worked for us and the methods I’ve personally used to bring more peace, calm, and TIME back to my life in the midst of a very chaotic season. A lot of it probably sounds harsh or extreme, and it is! I had to do some major perspective shifts to get the ball rolling and let go of certain things, literally and figuratively. These were the big ones:

• Certain things serve a purpose for a season. We get to decide when that season is over.

• Not seeing things as what you paid for them. It can be hard to look at something and not see dollar signs, but sometimes you just have to chalk it up to paying for a lesson learned.

• Is it a likely what if? Or an unlikely what if. If keeping something hinges on a what-if, assess the probability. Is the risk really worth the keep?

• Letting go of guilt and feelings of obligation. Once an item enters your home and your possession - you and you alone are in charge of what happens to it.

• Self respect. Say it with me: “I owe myself the respect of not settling.” Things you wear, use, give your energy to… if you look at something and feel hesitation, there’s a reason. And you don’t have to justify that reason to anyone else.

Live Simply by Annie has really insightful, helpful tips (and tough love/hard truths) for working through these things, getting over the hump and letting go of the fear, obligation, and guilt we associate with certain belongings. It’s an ongoing process for me and she’s been a great resource!

Focus Areas for Simplifying Our Home

EXPIRED. Anything expired = gone immediately. Food, medicine, beauty products, cleaning products. The easiest places to start! 

EXTRAS. What are all these extras actually for? What purpose are they serving? 

-Extra towels (not designated guest towels, but extra towels in general). Why? I have one set of favorite towels and a few other sets that sat in the cabinet for 7 years. I held onto them because I thought, “We registered for these. They’re nice. We might use them someday.” Except we really haven’t. I’d always just rather have my favorite set out. If you wash/dry your towels and hang them right back up, what are the extras for? Goes for sheets too.

Everyday use. Fancy. Guest. Fancy Guest. Uhhh - eleven?!

-Dish towels. Hand towels. Beach towels. Kids’ towels. Washcloths. All. the. towels. Keep the ones you really love. Save a few old ones for big spills and messes. Let go of the rest.

-Tote bags. Travel bags. All the bags. Pare it down. 

-Kitchen stuff. Duplicates, damaged, dingy… get rid of or replace.

-Extra cups. Water bottles. Yetis. Mugs. Koozies. Sippy cups. Kid plates. Toddler utensils. Bibs. Oven mitts. It was out of control, and we reach for the same ones over and over anyway. I edited these things ruthlessly. 

-Extras in the junk drawer. You know.

-Manuals. If you’ve ever had an issue with something, do you really go find the manual? Or do you consult Google or YouTube?

VISUAL CLUTTER

We’re working with about 1600 square feet for 5 people and a big dog, and as a mostly-stay-at-home mom, I spend a LOT of time in this house. In order for it not to feel cramped or for me not to go stir crazy, I’ve learned to appreciate decorating with WAYYY less and reducing the visual clutter on walls, shelves, tabletops, etc. We don’t have a lot of trinkets out or little things displayed - less to look at means less to think about + less to keep clean and right now, that’s where I want to be.

One thing I’ve reminded myself over the years as we’ve lived in and decorated a few homes is that not every wall or surface needs something. Don’t settle and buy something just to fill the space. Wait for something you truly love, or decide that it’s fine without anything at all.

TIP — I think a big contributing factor when there’s a cluttered feeling with decor is the scale. It’s hard to go too big. It’s easy to go too small, and then feel like you need more to visually fill the space - whether that’s on a wall, shelf, or table. Art and framed photos, especially. I’ve trained my brain to think “less, but bigger.”

TOY ROTATION

We started a toy rotation system last fall to keep the living room toy situation manageable since we don’t have a playroom. Three baskets total downstairs - Steele’s toys and books on the stair landing (behind the baby gate so brothers stay out of her stuff) and the boys’ toys by the sofa. The rest of their toys stay out of sight, out of mind in clear storage drawers in their closet upstairs, and I rotate things every couple of weeks. It’s a win all the way around! More focused play, less decision overload, easy clean up. Plus when I rotate different toys and books in, they get excited about them all over again. I try to limit things with lots of pieces to a few at a time downstairs, and we pick up once before nap time, once before bed. It’s worth it to me to spend a few minutes a few times a day to have a more peaceful space, and it makes the end of the day pickup more manageable.

WARDROBE

We’ve all done the closet clean out that feels productive for a while, but then you’re still finding shirts you bought in college and jeans you wore 2 pregnancies ago you just can’t seem to part with. I was determined this time to not just make a dent, but pare things down to the point of almost starting over — focusing on quality over quantity and rebuilding a wardrobe that really feels like ME. 32-year-old me, not 25-year-old me.

If I wasn’t sure about something, I physically tried it on and asked myself Does this make me feel confident? If I was shopping right now, today, would I buy this? If the answer to either was no, it was gone. No exceptions. That didn’t leave me with a whole lot - truly, anything I felt meh about, I got rid of. But what’s in there now are all things I truly love wearing. I can see what pieces I could really use now and take my time finding/investing in those things, and put together new outfits with versatile pieces in the meantime. I’ve also learned to be ok with being a repeater and I’ve embraced the idea of having a “signature style.” I know what I feel best in and what looks best on me — colors and styles — and I don’t feel the need to stray too far from that.

The extent of my hanging clothes on a 5 foot raCk. Jeans below and A 24-pair shoe organizer With room to spare, a 4-drawer Bin for swimsuits, hats, shorts, and workout clothes — socks, underwear, pajamas and t-shirts are in our shared dresser.

The extent of my jewelry, aside from my wedding rings, Aggie ring and the dainty gold jewelry I Wear every day.

As for jewelry - again, a ruthless edit. If it’s not something I’d pass down to my daughter or something truly timeless and classic that I reach for on a regular basis, time to go. Even if it was expensive. I got rid of probably 90% of my jewelry, packed certain things away to save for Steele, and invested in a couple things I’d had my eye on for a long time that I now wear day in and day out. 

For anything in my closet or dresser, I asked myself - do I feel any hesitation here? Why? Not in style, not MY style, uncomfortable, doesn’t fit quite right, worn out, tarnished, dingy… if any of those are true, I need to have the self respect to not wear something I don’t feel good in anymore. 

The other side of simplifying

Throughout this process, I’ve gotten more and more honest with myself. If I made a mistake and shouldn’t have bought something when I did - live and learn. Move on from it. Doesn’t mean I need to keep it. Loved it then but don’t love it as much now? It served me for a season and it’s ok for that season to be over. Never really loved it? Not worth your mental energy to hang onto, and now you know better. Over time, the simplifying process started to snowball into other areas - digital spaces (culling/deleting emails and iPhone photos daily, digital photo organization + regular backups, social media follow purge, etc.), our paper filing system, our pantry, our drop zone by the door - less, less, less.

For me, the greatest tradeoff is the headspace and mental capacity I have now to focus on more important things. To buy things with intention and patience and to be EXCITED about what’s in our home. To spend way less time picking up and organizing. To be able to breathe deeply and feel happy when I open my closet or walk into the living room every morning.

The size of our house used to stress me out - when we first found out we were expecting twins, I was overwhelmed thinking about the STUFF that would come with 2 more kids and worrying how we were all going to fit. How would our home not feel cramped 24/7? But after a year of taking intentional steps to simplify, I don’t feel like that any more. We have less in this house now than we did before our boys came along. Our home brings me joy. It’s a place I enjoy spending our days and I really don’t want to leave it anytime soon.

One year into some big changes and it feels GOOD. If you’re feeling stuck when it comes to living with less, decorating with less, or simplifying - message me! This is something I’m really passionate about and I’m always happy to chat.

Three Babies Later... Baby Items We've Loved + Ones We Wouldn't Miss

With lots of friends and clients expecting their first babies or soon to enter that season, I wanted to share some of my very favorite baby items we’ve used over the last few years.

Before pregnancy, I’d never spent SO much time combing through products, reading reviews or asking for recommendations. But despite what the internet might tell you, you really don’t need a whole lot for babies, and I was grateful for insight from seasoned mama friends who approached their own registries and purchases with a super practical, minimalist mindset. We joined the three under two club for a while after the arrival of our twin boys and after living and learning a little more this go-round, we actually ended up using even fewer baby items with them than we did with our first. Less truly is more!

That said, these are the items I’d absolutely want on my ultimate baby registry. If I had to do it all over again with the least amount of stuff possible, these are the things I’d still use – and if it’s on this list, I’ve loved it times three!

Favorite Baby Items by Category

SLEEP

Taking Cara Babies sleep class - Cara is all over Instagram, and for good reason. We bought her sleep course (it’s giftable too!) after hearing glowing reviews from several friends and watched the videos before Steele was born – and again before the boys arrived as a refresher! Her classes go beyond sleep training and taught us so much about caring for a newborn in general - schedules, cues, and more. Andrew and I agree it was some of the best money we spent. Moms on Call is another course I’ve heard great things about!
MOM TIP: Sleep training is of course a personal decision every family needs to make for themselves, but we’re continually thankful we did it – and surprisingly, it really wasn’t much harder with two than with one! There’s crying involved, yes, but not crying it out - the whole point is to avoid that. Six to eight weeks of implementing her strategies was completely worth the results. They’ve all slept 12 hours in their cribs every night since they were 3-4 months old and fall asleep on their own within minutes, and for our family, it’s been the absolute best scenario all the way around.

Hatch Rest sound machine - tons of sound options and I love that I can turn it up or down from my phone without having to go in the nursery. Our two Hatch machines (one for Steele, one for the boys) come with us on every overnight trip we take!
MOM TIP: the Better Sleep phone app is free and has tons of good white noise choices – works great when we’re out and about. I’ll play it through the car speakers if I need them to nap on the go!

Ollie swaddle - there’s just no other swaddle that calms or stays put like this one – it’s Houdini-proof. Cara from Taking Cara Babies highly recommends the Ollie swaddle and Target recently started carrying them, too!
MOM TIP: We only used the Ollie for nighttime sleep to cut down on needing to wash it, so for daytime sleep we used any kind of jersey swaddle with stretch. Muslin swaddles are cute but for practical purposes, stretchy cotton is the winner. Copper Pearl, Lou Lou, and Spearmint all have great jersey swaddles - the bigger, the better!

These crib sheets - the oatmeal color is the perfect neutral, soft, plenty of stretch, and 10 bucks a pop. I love that they don’t pill, either. We’ve kept these on all 3 cribs plus a few backups in the linen closet.

Absorbency-doubling diaper pads - total game changer. As our babies grew and were taking bigger bottles, they started soaking through their diapers onto their pajamas and sheets overnight. Not into doing more laundry than necessary, so I was so thankful to find these – they really do absorb a LOT and they’ve helped all three go 12 hours at night while staying dry.

FEEDING

Nuk Simply Natural bottles - bottles are tricky because you don’t know if baby will have a preference, so it’s best to try a few kinds out and see. Some sites offer sample packs with several brands. I decided to try Nuk on a whim and lucked out - they’re very affordable compared to other brands, super easy to clean (minimal parts), and they haven’t given us any issues with gas. We bought the standard 9oz size from the get-go and they’ve worked for the entire first year for all 3 babies – no need to buy multiple sizes.
MOM TIP: I stick the lids + nipples in these dishwasher baskets and wash everything on the sanitize cycle overnight, every night, and that’s the extent of our bottle-washing routine! We keep it simple – no need for endless scrubbing or a bulky bottle sanitizer – but we do use these sanitizing bags (also great for breast pump parts) when we know we’ll be somewhere without a dishwasher.

Oxo Tot bottle drying rack - I read reviews about the grass style racks growing mold - no thanks. This one’s been great! Doesn’t take up a ton of space but holds a lot, and is easy to wash clean (they all collect dust and grime at some point).

Oxo Tot forks and spoons - easy for little hands to hold and the spoon actually holds a good amount - my babies take big bites! Ha.

Silicone bibs - our only bibs. The fold to catch spills is a must and they’re SO easy to clean. Each kid has 2 and that’s been plenty.

Thick muslin burp cloths - hands-down, our go-to rags. Thick, large, super absorbent, hold up well in the wash, and inexpensive. I have a kitchen drawer stocked full of these.

Bentgo lunchbox - good compartments and microwave/dishwasher-safe. Steele loves hers for daycare days, and I’ll be buying two more soon when the boys start Mother’s Day Out!

Space-saving high chair - our kitchen/dining area isn’t huge, so I wanted a chair that took up the least amount of space possible - bought this kind for Steele and got a matching one before the boys arrived. Love how compact it is, love that it’s easy to clean (I didn’t want anything with fabric padding - it inevitably gets stained and gross over time), love that the tray is slim so it doesn’t take up a ton of room in the dishwasher, and love that it has a footrest and encourages correct eating posture - those make a huge difference for babies learning to eat. Can’t beat the price, either. This space-saving option is beautiful, too!

Ingenuity floor seat with built-in tray - we had a Bumbo for Steele but I bought two of these for the boys because I liked the price, color, and built-in tray storage much better. When the boys were sitting up but still little, we took these instead of high chairs when we traveled. Also love that it buckles onto a chair as a booster seat - Steele uses it too!

TRAVEL

Chicco Bravo carrier/car seat base/stroller combo - probably what I spent the longest time researching. The car seat has great safety ratings, awesome reviews and the entire combo system costs less than a lot of car seats and strollers cost separately these days. We’ve been really happy with it all! Obviously we needed a double stroller for the boys (I got the Zoe Classic - lightest double stroller on the market and fits through all standard doors) but we did use the Bravo bases + carriers for them, as well.

Graco Slim Fit convertible car seat - the winner after lots of research on seats that fit 3-across on a bench seat. This one converts up to a booster and is a fraction of the price of the “luxe” brands. Mamas - real talk - no one cares what brand your kid’s car seat is. The $200 and $300 car seats can be just as safe as the $500 and $600 car seats - price doesn’t always equal safety or comfort.
MOM TIP: @safeintheseat is a certified car seat expert and a great account to follow for safety tips. As she says - the safest car seat is one that’s installed correctly. Steele is still rear-facing at 3 years old and will be for as long as possible thanks to her advice!

Backpack diaper bag - affordable, wipes down, smart compartment placement. I loved this similar Eddie Bauer diaper backpack option too. Love keeping this little bag dispenser in the diaper bag for when we’re out and don’t have a good place to throw away stinky diapers.

Infantino Flip convertible carrier - this was a hand-me-down that’s quickly become a favorite. To me, it feels a lot more secure than the Solly or wrap style carriers. I tried a few of those but was worried the whole time baby was going to fall out the bottom, and the other buckle/strap ones I tried were too complicated to put on quickly. This one is very affordable, a nice neutral color, super easy to put on and feels very secure but not bulky. We bought a second one before the twins arrived!

BATHING + HEALTH

Microfiber hooded bath towels - did a clean-out of the towels in the kids’ bathroom and kept only these. Affordable, oversized, thick, absorbent.

Bath kneeler pad - I’ve used it for every bath, ever. This one is overpriced for what it is and they do get stained from splashing water, so even a cheap garden kneeler pad would be a good option, but either way, your knees will thank you.

Bath flower - a hand-me-down I wasn’t sure we’d use, but when all of our babies ended up coming home at 5.5 pounds and under, we actually used it a ton! The regular baby bathtubs (love this simple design) didn’t work until they hit about 8-9 pounds. The flower made sink baths a lot easier and I definitely recommend for preemies!

Stelatopia Cleansing Oil - Steele never had any reaction to soaps or shampoos, but for our sensitive skin boys, we’ve tried LOTS of brands and Mustela Stelatopia has been our favorite!
MOM TIP: with Steele, I used to think a bath was a necessary part of her nighttime routine even though I knew she wasn’t really dirty. With the boys, giving both of them a bath every night is just too overwhelming, so we don’t. We bathed them twice a week until they were 8 months old, and now we do just every other night for all 3 unless they’re filthy. Don’t stress yourself out over bath time - fewer baths is better for their skin anyway.

Triple Paste - the only diaper rash cream I bought the second time around. We tried them all with Steele, but nothing compares. Not cheap, but a little goes a long way - one container will last you months.

Butt spatula - game changer. No more sticky hands – just spread the cream, wipe the excess off on the clean diaper and you’re done!

Ubbi weighted wipe dispenser - I bought a second one of these because it just makes grabbing a wipe with one hand while you’re wrangling a wiggly baby so much easier. For on the go, I love this one!

Hatch Grow changing pad with built-in scale - a wipeable changing pad is a must-have for me and worth the extra cost. So easy to clean and it’s been nice to be able to see how much they weigh whenever we want, especially in the early days when it’s hard to tell how much they’re gaining.

Nose Frida - a necessity. You can buy cheap replacement filters on Amazon (or just wash and reuse the ones it comes with – it’s fine).

Vicks Speed Read Thermometer - we used a digital forehead one with Steele, but had issues with temperature readings being all over the place. The hospital recommended an underarm thermometer (better accuracy) for the boys after their NICU stay, so we’ve been using this one ever since and love that it gets an accurate reading super quickly.

CLOTHES

This neutral-colored gown was our favorite. Soft and washed well. For us, though, gowns weren’t really ideal after about 2 months - babies are too wiggly and their feet get all caught in them! I’d only register for one or two and no bigger than Newborn or 0-3m size.

Burts Bees and Honest Baby pajamas - I’m a sucker for the cute designs (could not click Add to Cart fast enough on this precious pink pair), the fit is nice and snug but good for tall/long babies, and they hold up well. Good price point, too! Pretty much the only PJs my kids wear, from newborn size to toddlerhood.

THIS headband pack + this one too - my top favorites for Steele. These were the most comfortable on her head, not too tight or too loose, and stayed put.
MOM TIP: we stored her headbands on this rod with these clips. So much easier to be able to see them all at a glance, rather than stuffed in a basket or drawer.

MISCELLANEOUS

SnuggleMe Organic - we were gifted one and used it every single day for the first 3-4 months for all 3 babies - bought a second one for the boys, too! So handy to be able to set them down wherever we needed to. I prefer the SnuggleMe over the Dock-a-Tot because it really does snuggle them in close and tight – the middle piece of fabric is suspended and taut, so when you lay baby on it, it pulls the sides in close. Big fan of the generic off-brand covers vs. the brand name, but definitely get some sort of cover because washing the lounger itself is a pain.

Piano play mat - bought a second one for the boys so they could each have their own – not sure what exactly it is about this thing that’s so magical but it kept all 3 of mine entertained for many, many hours throughout their first year.

Fat Brain toys - again, not sure what’s so magical here but a favorite for all 3 babies.

Foam tile floor mat - wish I would’ve found this sooner! Love the neutral colors and you can arrange the tiles in a ton of different designs. It’s big for the price and so nice for the learning to sit/crawl phase.

Name Bubbles labels - the Daycare Pack of name labels comes with a good variety of sizes. We’ve had these on cups, nap mats and extra pairs of clothes for 2 years now and never had an issue with any coming off in the dishwasher or washing machine. Love these!

I can think of a few other items we used quite a bit (pack n plays, bassinets, baby gates, stand-up activity center, bouncy chairs) but I just didn’t love ours enough to put them on this list.

Baby Items We Didn’t Use

Here’s what I purged or didn’t end up using like I thought I would:

Socks and mittens - they just do not stay on those tiny hands and feet! Ha. Most of our onesies had the fold-over built-in mittens and we kept blankets over their legs and feet, so they weren’t necessary anyway.

A million pacifiers and clips - for some reason, pre-babies, I thought we’d need a TON of pacifiers. Not the case. Three or four (a couple for the house, a couple for the car/diaper bag) was plenty.

Diaper pail - we ended up getting rid of ours after the boys were born. With 2x the diapers, it filled up so quickly and changing the bags became more of a hassle than it was worth. And the refills are expensive! We got a separate trash can with a good lid for stinky diapers and keep it in the garage.

Wipe warmer - some swear by it. My kids never minded a cold wipe, and the wipes only stay warm for a few seconds anyway, so this was one less thing I wanted on the changing table.

Fancy pajamas - I got a few pairs of really nice, stretchy, bamboo/rayon pajamas for Steele, and don’t get me wrong, they were great. I just couldn’t bring myself to spend $40 a pair on pajamas for two growing, messy baby boys, so we skipped those this time around. Whichever PJs you get, ZIPPER is key. I didn’t love the magnet kind, and snaps - just say no.

Baby detergents and baby dish soap - truly, a marketing ploy. No need for Dreft - any “free and clear” fragrance free laundry detergent or dish soap works just the same.

Sleep sacks - I feel like we might be the only family in America that doesn’t use sleep sacks. We did use Merlin’s Magic Sleep Suits with all 3 to help them transition out of the swaddle once they could roll over, but after that, just PJs. Tons of people love sleep sacks, but definitely not a necessity.

Baby swing/Mamaroo - nothing against them, we just didn’t have the space. A bouncy chair with vibration always worked fine and is a lot easier to move around the house.

Baby Brezza - handy, yes, but I can whip up a formula bottle myself just as quickly, so it wasn’t worth the cost or counterspace to me. If you’re breastfeeding/pumping and needing to thaw stored milk, a bottle warmer is probably worth having, but for our formula babies, we followed the advice of a friend to feed them room temp bottles from the start, so we don’t own a warmer, either. We’ve always kept this big water dispenser in our pantry filled with distilled or purified water for bottles.

Hook-on travel high chair - way more trouble than it’s worth, IMO. You either forget it at home, forget it in the car or get annoyed lugging it into the restaurant. Used it maybe once, ever.

Owlet Smart Sock - everyone is different, but for me personally, the Owlet was stressful. I didn’t use one with Steele and never thought twice about it, but one of the twins had some apnea/oxygen issues in the NICU, so I borrowed an Owlet sock from a friend when we brought him home for peace of mind. It helped calm my nerves for about a week, but after that, it ended up making me more hyperaware, anxious, stressed, etc., and wasn’t the easiest to put on correctly anyway (I got a lot of error readings), so I put it back in the box and decided it wasn’t for us.

Boppy pillow - I didn’t find it comfortable or helpful for feeding (I may be in the minority on that) so we didn’t keep it. We did get the Twin Z pillow for the boys though, and that’s been a life saver for simultaneous bottle feeds and support while they were learning to sit!

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That’s a wrap on my very favorite items for newborns - ones I’ve used threefold and would buy again if I had to! Did I miss anything? Share your faves in the comments! Hopefully this list can help you in some small way!

To the Mom of a Toddler and Twins on the Way

Mama, I keep thinking about you! Eight months into life with twins and a toddler, I keep thinking about the things I wish someone would’ve told me, and the things I’ve taken away from this journey so far. I know your heart is racing with worry and exhaustion those last few weeks of carrying those babies, and I hope you’re feeling so loved and cared for as you get ready to meet them. I hope you feel some peace amidst the unrest.

You’ll soon find out - your situation is not something anyone else can really understand unless they’re living it. For better or for worse. You’ll be annoyed when people say “Mine are close in age, so I get it.” Nope. It’s not the same. You have two tiny humans needing you in the exact same ways, at the exact same time, all day every day — oh and a toddler, too. You’ll feel alone in your struggles pretty often. Or maybe that you’re so entrenched in motherhood these days that you begin to lose sight of the you that exists beyond these precious babies.

I’ve had some of my hardest, darkest days in this season. The sensory overload is real and beyond overwhelming. Touched out, cried out, trying to function in a constant state of chaos, give a damn busted, guilt over said give a damn being busted… but also days where I’ve never felt stronger or more capable in my entire life. Taking two or even three somewhere by myself sounds so simple, but man, you’ll feel like a badass when you get the hang of going places with them, without help. Or when they’re all fed, occupied and happy at home and maybe you can enjoy a cup of coffee with only one reheat instead of three. You’ll feel on top of the world!

This year has refined me so much - iron in the fire. Coming home from the hospital leaving two babies in the NICU an hour away. Powering through tasks that I didn’t give a second thought to with one baby but feel straight up daunting with two (or three). On the days I’ve felt like I had nothing else to give. Not an ounce. When I’ve taken deep breaths and given myself pep talks as I dig in a little deeper, mentally and physically, just to be able to just make it to the next nap. When I take a step back, I know it’s all refining me. As a mom, a wife, a human.

All I can tell you is to let yourself release every expectation that flashes through your mind. Let go of all the “shoulds.” That’s been the hardest part for me. Especially when I compare the twins to my oldest and think things like “I should be doing more with them. I did so much with her.” Outings. Activities. Baby led weaning. Reading. Snuggling. All of it. Let it go and embrace the bare minimum sometimes. You’ll all be better for it. What worked for one might not make sense for two. These babies’ first year just won’t look like your oldest’s did - there’s no way it could! Different but still wonderful. No one is giving out Mom awards. Everyone just gets a participation trophy here, so take advantage. Do what you need to do to make it through each day and let that be good enough. All three of your babies are still so loved. That’s truly all that matters.

Remember the oxygen mask rule. Always put yours on first. Set a crying baby down and go pee. Brush your hair. Brush your teeth, please. Eat lunch. Take a sip of water. Take a breath. Let the laundry pile stay unfolded and sit down for five whole minutes. Our culture has gone a little far with the whole over-glorification of motherhood as martyrdom and the self care obsession, but at the same time - don’t neglect your basic needs, mama. You cannot pour from an empty cup.

This isn’t for the faint of heart. You’ll wish every single day that you had an extra set of hands. Or that you could sneak in a nap while your babies all nap, just one time, but the to-do list will win out and you’ll try to be productive. You’ll lie awake for hours at night even though you’re exhausted because that’s when your brain and your shoulders can finally decompress. Every new phase of your twins’ babyhood will present its own challenges, as will trying to parent and disciple a toddler while your attention and patience are both spread thin. You’ll all make it through. Lean on your support system. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or just to vent. Ditch the comparison game. Embrace the chaos and the mess. Get a Twin Z pillow. Do whatever you need to do to make life easier for yourself. Spend one on one time with your oldest. Say the words “oh well” more often.

You can do hard things!

Love,
A mom in the thick of it.

P.S.
Not sure if this was so much a letter to you as it was another pep talk to myself. Either way - cheers to us, mama.

Bullard Boys | Newborn Photos

The Bullard boys are HOME! Hayes McCall and Harrison Shepler (Shep) joined us September 3, 2021, at 9:25 and 9:26 in the morning, weighing 5lbs 9oz and 4lbs 11oz. Both boys needed a little help maintaining their body temps, taking full feeds without wearing themselves out, and making sure they were breathing steady without any apnea episodes. Our two-week NICU stay wasn’t fun (especially with a one-hour commute to the hospital) but they’re home at last and we’re living in a state of exhausted bliss, still not quite believing these three kiddos are ours. Big sister has had a little bit of a tough time adjusting and doesn’t love when mom and dad are holding the boys and don’t have any free hands left for her, but when either of her brothers cry she’s sure to let us know. I think she’ll warm up to them before long.

I was trying to remember if I ever even blogged Steele’s newborn photos and discovered I blogged a few of them here, along with our picks for must-have baby items. So far, this list still holds true with twins, too!

Without further ado, here are our boys and their sweet big sister. How lucky are we to call them ours.